Welcome Anna to the SHJ family! Anna has recently adopted Judaism and has chosen the Hebrew name Ahava! Read below to learn more about Anna’s journey to Humanistic Judaism.
When I close my eyes, I can still remember my life, or more specifically, my non-Jewish Jewish life. I was born and raised in an area that I describe as a Jewish “enclave” in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil without ever recognizing it as such during my childhood. To be honest with you, I never knew how immersed I was in the Jewish community until much later in life (about three days ago, to be more exact). Let’s see… In the Catholic school where I completed my middle school and high school years, my best friends were Jewish. I was taking swimming lessons for years at the Clube Israelita Brasileiro
(Brazilian Israeli Club) located a few blocks from my house. I celebrated 10 consecutive birthdays with my favorite chocolate cake from the The Bakers, a Jewish bakery a few blocks from my house (and I only stopped buying it because I changed countries, and the bakery does not deliver internationally). Behind my house, an Orthodox Jewish school. When I moved to Boston, my best friend was a Brazilian-Israeli Jewish woman who I met virtually a few days before I travelled to Massachusetts and who embraced me as part of her family. In two different apartments, one in Cambridge and the other in Weymouth, I managed to live with three Jewish roommates. When I moved to Lebanon to do humanitarian work with children with disabilities, I recruited a specialist in disabilities from the USA to support our programs who, as soon as we met in person upon her arrival to Tripoli, became an instant best friend who I am proud to have in my life until this day. And, yes, she is Jewish. Then, my first and only boyfriend after my divorce was, yes, you guess it again, a Jewish man (No, I was not looking to date a Jewish man, we just found each other at the right place and the right time) and even though we are no longer together, I am so immensely appreciative for the time we spent together.
And now, as I sit on the floor of my apartment in Florida, and I think of an answer to the question why do you want to become a Humanistic Jew? I wonder… “have I ever not been Jewish?” I guess, my non-Jewish Jewish life gave me enough evidence to believe that I had always been a part of the Jewish community, even without knowing it.
So, I think the best way to continue this statement will be to redirect my focus to respond to the question Why Humanistic Judaism instead of other Jewish denominations? Well, the answer to this question can be found in one single word: adoption. I have spent an enormous amount of time (i.e. at least 8 years) focusing on developing self-awareness about who I am, what I need, and why I need it. Due to my childhood traumas sprinkled with emotional bruises acquired during my young adulthood years, I came to understand that one of my deepest needs as a human in the pursuit of healing is a need to be chosen. And not just chosen, but also accepted exactly as I am.
In my life, the experience of being “chosen” appeared a few times, when people from different religious groups attempted to convert me to their respective religions (i.e. Catholicism, Evangelism, Islamism and a religious cult in Brazil known as “I am”). And every attempt at recruiting me to become a convert always started with the same: individuals recognizing in me the spiritual values that were part of their respective religions. I feel blessed for having had the opportunity to experience these moments as I see them as examples of behaviors based on care and appreciation. Appreciation for recognizing in me something that these individuals care about and treasure within themselves. However, while I appreciated these interactions, I was never interested in converting to these religions (or cult). Perhaps it was because I noticed that my heart was not in them, perhaps it was because I had this strange feeling that they could not see or accept all of me. Yes, they could recognize my spiritual values but, many times during these interactions, I noticed an attempt to change other parts of me to best “fit” the group. And this conditional belonging was not what I was looking for.
As I started to reflect on my journey, I realized that I could not meet my need to be chosen without also meeting my need to have all my parts accepted, validated, honored, and embraced. This is why the concept of “adoption” in Humanistic Judaism speaks so loud to me. I see myself as someone who has been lucky to be fostered by individuals from various religious groups, friends and colleagues who were gracious and generous with me and willing to have me as a passenger in their lives. But the truth is that I was not ready to accept belonging to a community until I could also recognize myself, my heart, all my parts, and my future, in my community of choice. I see myself reflected in the Humanistic Jewish community. In Humanistic Judaism, I see my willingness to accept, validate, honor, and embrace
people’s identities, I see my ability to embrace people for who they are without asking them to change to belong, I see my love for open communication and desire to learn, and I see myself, my present, and my future. “Conversion” feels like a unidirectional movement, a movement that the convert makes towards a community of choice. Adoption, on the hand, requires both parties to walk towards each other with open arms, ready for an embrace. And this is what I want and what I am ready for. And this why I am proud to be a Humanistic Jew.
Wonderful!