Adoption Story – Carlie

Welcome Carlie to the SHJ family! Carlie has recently adopted Judaism and has chosen the Hebrew name Levana Gibora! Read below to learn more about Carlie’s journey to Humanistic Judaism.

I was not born Jewish but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been Jewish.  I have always identified as a nice, not very observant, certainly not religious Jewish girl. When I was three, my mother married a Jewish man who loved us both and didn’t care that we weren’t Jewish. He is my dad, he raised me and he legally adopted me when I was 10.

The judge said that once the paper was signed, the person I was before would be replaced by the new me. As I saw it, the new me was Carlie with a Jewish surname and a Jewish father on my birth certificate, so that meant I was Jewish.

When I was 36, my father asked me, “Do you consider yourself Jewish?” and my reply was, “Am I your daughter? Of course I’m Jewish!”

Then I began to question– am I Jewish? Would other Jews see me as Jewish? I had thought I was Jewish, wasn’t being adopted enough to make me Jewish?

Later that day, I talked with one of my two aunts. She assured me that, “If you feel Jewish, you are Jewish. No one can say you aren’t.” It was she who sent me my first Shabbat candle holders with her blessing, her love, and her fervent hope that I find fulfillment in tradition. Week after week, I watched my other auntie post her lighted candles, telling the story of her week and her hopes for the week ahead. I became inspired, more sure that Shabbat and Jewish traditions belonged in my life.

I’ve come to learn that asking, “am I Jewish enough” is a very Jewish question. I decided to find out what kind of Jewish person I am.

What I learned is that the Jewish values which resonate most with me don’t rely on a deity to instruct the how or why. When I teach my kids the traditions and stories of Jewish culture, I am passing down the logic, reasoning, metaphor, creativity, strength, diversity, and dignity of generations of people before us.

When I found out that Humanistic Judaism calls it adoption, it felt very right. The Latin root of the word adoption means “to choose.” My father chose me when he married my mother, but he made it official when he adopted me. I chose to be Jewish because it felt right, and I have made it official by adopting Humanistic Judaism.