Humanistic Mussar: The Virtue of Compassion

Humanistic Jewish Mussar: The Virtue of Compassion

by Scarlett Rodnick-Ingber

Hello Society for Humanistic Judaism (SHJ) members.

My name is Scarlett and I’m a 13-year-old humanist, aspiring writer, and enthusiast of religious philosophy from an intellectual perspective.

During my time studying as a B’nei Mitzvah, I had become enamored with religious ideology. However, given that I had spent most of my upbringing at a popular Reform temple, this idea of  seeing religion as a great work of fiction- rather than a fact- was not encouraged. Thankfully, I had found the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism and specifically Rabbi Falick, who acted as a guiding light while I explored these concepts and my Jewish identity.

In my limited experience with religious affiliations, there is not enough emphasis on doing good. There is much discussion on etiquette but a shortage on follow through. It was unexpected and fortunate that I was recently introduced to Mussar teachings as I am a firm believer in, “practicing what you preach” and the lack of “practice” is a large part of what turned me away from traditional religion.

I genuinely feel that SHJ youth members have been offered a rare and special gift.

We have the privilege of taking accountability for our own actions, instead of relying on supernatural beings for guidance and discipline. The message is simple: actions have consequences. You, and you alone, are the creator of your universe and what you “create” will be reflected on those around you. In essence, be good and do good.

When we are small, we’re protected within a bubble of adolescent naivety, it’s easy to be blind to the plights of humanity and the negativity that surrounds us. Actions and choices are simply bad or good. Hitting your brother? Bad. Saying you’re sorry? Good.

I am learning that we, as Jews, are very familiar with the nuances of “bad” and “good”. We don’t have the luxury of viewing things in simplicity. When people say hurtful things, we consider the intent and its origin. Using a highly attuned meter, we measure hostility levels, calculate ignorance factor and quantify an overall bias. Jews learn to become a barometer for offensive comments.

I was in the fourth grade the first time someone called me a Jesus killer. I remember being so hurt by this statement. Not only was it factually inaccurate, but it was accusatory. It was directed at me in a way that said, “you have attacked me personally”. After some thought, I realized that I had forgotten to consider who this person was that had upset me so much. I had not weighed her upbringing, her everyday life and what she was taught to be acceptable. Once I did this, I didn’t feel hurt by her words. I felt sadness for her. She was trapped in a spiteful mindset of the world and told to hate those who weren’t like her. As I suspect most angry people are.

After more life experience, I realized that minorities- including Jewish people- often must deal with the narrow thinking of others. Because of this, compassion is ingrained in our nature. We hold sympathy for those who must face unjustified hate as well as those who hate us unjustly.

When we begin to become familiar with our Jewishness, (whether it’s attending Sunday school and services, having family traditions that date back generations or making new practices, using our favorite yiddishisms or bagels and lox on Sundays) we are also launched into the many assumptions and opinions that can accompany our culture. Sometimes it can be difficult, but we can and should make a conscious decision to try and understand the source of these perceptions.

Being a young person growing up in society today, at this moment, I struggle with the perceptions and biases of others regarding my Jewish identity. I must remember to maintain my compassion so as not to become bitter and angry, so as not to become hardened and calloused. I maintain my compassion because it is an essential part of Judaism and my identity as a Humanistic Jew. I act in compassion consciously.  I look at the world around me like a short story with colorful characters. What is this character’s back story? What is their motivation? How does that change their view of the world?

The Mussar teachings show us that we should be actively improving ourselves and sentient in our efforts to cultivate a positive behavioral change. As Humanistic Jews, we can intellectualize our true history, but our “study” lies in our practice.

In reflecting on engaging in compassion, here are some helpful tips from trusted people in my circle. Just like a daily affirmation, I plan on putting these into action with intention and persistence.

1.  My papa tells me he has a “5-minute grudge rule”. He allows himself to be upset at someone for only 5 minutes, before choosing to let it go and forgive.
2. My father tells me to always engage with decency. Try not to allow judgment to guide your behavior and instead, identify that we all have struggles.
3. If all else fails, follow the old standard, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it”. Be aware of how you speak. Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it inspiring?  Is it kind? If your words aren’t driven by any of these things, it likely does not need to be said.

It is in our nature to feel compassion. We watch movies that make us cry. We love videos of babies and dogs doing wholesome things. We build loyalty and love in our family units and friendships. We thrive when we can connect to those within our community.

Our community, the Jewish people, are an incredibly small population and Humanistic Jews encompass just a fraction of that amount. It is our duty as humanists to practice active compassion because building a more humane existence is the basis of our belief system.

The only way to achieve such a goal is through self-improvement. Only after we have reached a state of true moral equity can we begin to reflect our morality in our actions. My posts will go into depth in the concept of personal growth through Mussar practice, with the intention that it will inspire others to work toward creating a more lenient and forgiving world.

Thank you for letting me take a walk through your mind garden.

Have a glorious day.

Scarlett

ACROSS THE GENERATIONS WITH HUMANISTIC JEWISH MUSSAR

by Bruce and Scarlett

The insight is there; it has been for many years.

Laid out in front of us.

Pakuda, Luzzato and Salanter, names not often spoken, but oh so wise.

Quietly noting, that study, and speaking intelligently about Jewish history and values, mean nothing without translation into daily behavior.

“Know thyself.”

Thank you, Socrates.

Behave decently—Vonnegut said.

A fire was revived; we can warm our soul.

And learn to improve the world.

One personal trait at a time.

Applause goes to Alan Morinis.

An older poet, slowing down, keeps writing.

A younger poet, speeding up, loves writing.

Their paths crossed at the intersection of meaning and purpose.

Our path is slightly different than traditional Mussar study.

Our search for “holiness” is existential, not theistic.

We leave a God behind.

Evolution and evidence are our mojo.

Instead, we follow our moral compass.

We step lightly; we pay attention; we care.

It is our responsibility; it is our gift; we freely share.

Rabbi Wine spoke: “The light is within us.”

The older member of the team is graying.

The lessons are so meaningful.

Sharing knowledge from one generation to the next.

This is his important path to meaning.

So, he asked a youthful seer to join him.

We will write together and ponder together.

And build a Mussar bridge between old and young.

But, like young ones do, she lost her way.

 Stranded in a sea of imagination,

She conjured up a life that didn’t yet belong to her.

The present is an empty waiting room,

But she doesn’t want to sit patiently.

The anticipation of not knowing what lies behind the door,

Has her hands wringing.

Dust clouds that haven’t formed a shape.

In all uncertainty,

To quiet the mind,

She finds comfort in her intention toward goodness.

And in the love she projects,

She is propelled forward.

Away from the dark corners of her innermost self.

The bridge where the wise stood,

Seemed such a distance,

Miles she could never surpass,

Though she tries.

She tries.

We try.

So, we joined up.

Bruce and Scarlett.

Young and old.

Sharing the art of translation.

Knowledge into lived ethics.

Humility spurs the search for inner wisdom and external menschiness.

Across the generations.

From young to old.

Bringing tidings to Humanistic Jews.

That translation, daily practice, and behavioral evidence.

That is what speaks of our higher form of existence.

REFERENCES

Compassion Defined, Greater Good Magazine (2024, July 3), greatergood.berkeley.edu.

Kachroo-Levine, M. (2024). 47 Dalai Lama quotes that will change the way you see the world. Obtained from travelandleisure.com on July 6, 2024.

Moodian, M. (2015). Lessons of compassion from the Dalai Lama. Retrieved from www.huffpost.com on July 4, 2024.

Vonnegut, Kurt (1965). God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. The Dial Press: New York

Wine, Sherwin T. (1988). Celebration: A ceremonial and philosophic guide for humanists and humanistic Jews.Prometheus Books: New York.