
Pamela is the loving parent of an amazing young person, Sam! In this guest blog, Pamela shares her heartfelt reflection in celebration of the one year anniversary of Sam’s B Mitzvah.
As we are approaching the 1-year anniversary of Sam’s B Mitzvah, I found myself reflecting on the profound impact this experience has had on Sam’s life, as well as my own.
I think Sam’s B Mitzvah was such an incredibly positive experience, and, to be honest, changed the trajectory of their life. I can’t imagine how this could have been better, and it gives me faith that our ancestors knew what they were doing. I feel like this coming-of-age ceremony is exactly how Sam “became of age”.
Sam began preparing for their B Mitzvah around May 2022. Sam was in 7th grade. We were just coming off the heels of COVID, and I while I understand 7th grade is a difficult time for many, our 7th grade year was tragic and both Sam and I were extremely affected, for lack of a better word.
Of course, a lot changed in the world in the in the subsequent year, but I believe the B Mitzvah experience is what changed our path in the most unexpected and profound ways.
I don’t know how to “order” the positives, meaning was one thing more impactful than the other, I don’t know. It’s also not important.
Self confidence
The B Mitzvah was Sam’s idea. Yes, I helped find the program, but once Sam decided to do it, Sam did it all. They did all their “assignments”, they approached all the people they talked to, they did their own research, they learned Hebrew, they communicated with Jerid. They were self motivated and on task. They asked for help when needed, but they got it done. I feel like this was such an incredible shift from what was going on the year before, zoom school and zoom events had sucked all the joy out of Sam, and they were barely hanging on. I feel like accomplishing this B Mitzvah preparation, ceremony and celebration fuels Sam now. I see this same spirit of self motivation, self assurance and getting things done on their own in all they do.
Relationship with Judaism
Sam fully identifies as a Jewish person. Sam learned so much about our ancestors, the religion, and our own family, so much more than I knew. Sam now wears a Jewish star that my mom passed down from Israel. Sam tells me that they like wearing it because just touching it makes them feel a little extra strength and peace. We have enjoyed, even more, our holiday celebrations and going to the services we enjoy. Sam recently applied for, and was accepted, as a high school intern at the Contemporary Jewish Museum for next year. They were so well prepared for their interview and proudly went in with the attitude of pride in being a non-binary, African American Jewish person.
Relationship with their Mentor Jerid
I cannot say enough about working with Jerid. Kind, supportive, emotional, smart, funny, humble, I don’t have enough words to describe Jerid. Most importantly, Sam needed an adult, a guide for this process, and the relationship between Sam and Jerid was magical. His guidance through the process, all the thoughtful conversations he had with Sam (and me), his officiating the service were all so special. I am sad that we don’t talk to Jerid that often now, but I know we could anytime and he will always be part of our lives.
The Service (and party)
Sam still talks about this day and how wonderful it was, how it was the best experience they have ever had. The service was magnificent. I cried pretty much the whole time, and so did many of the attendees. It was an intimate group, about 50, and since we did it on the beach, everyone was gathered very close. Sam was poised, confident, learned, and gracious. The service was unlike anything most people have ever been to. I think everyone commented on how special this was, but I don’t mean just commented, I mean this service moved them in a way that was so profound. Everyone felt the spirit of this important event. From the beautiful setting, to Sam’s spirit and confidence on full display, to the fun and celebration after, this was a day I will never forget, and the spirit lives on to this day.
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