The Lost Ski Cap

A Ski-cap, Minnesota, Facebook and the Talmud—
a journey of returning a lost item through a secular Jewish network.
by Peter Mones

Peter Mones lives in Astoria, Queens,  NY. For almost 18 years he worked as a manager for the Museum Shop at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in lower Manhattan. His late wife, Renee, introduced him to the City Congregation for Secular Humanistic Judaism, NYC when they met in 2000. Peter is still active with The City Congregation. He attends the Secular Talmud class given on Mondays through TCC.  

In a Tractate in the Talmud, Bava Metzia deals exclusively with returning lost objects. According to Exodus 23:4 and Deuteronomy 22:1-4, –a person has an obligation to return lost objects to their owner.

Imagine you have lost something. You retrace your steps of where you have been walking, visiting, shopping to find a misplaced or lost item. What do you feel?  Despair? Drained of hope? Resigned to loss? What to do next?

In Bava Metzia there are many discussions on “lost items”—on how to deal with it as the one who loses something —and moreover about the one who FINDS an item. The feeling is called Ye’ush, – Despair.  Sadness. Hopelessness. However, if one discovers an item that has distinguishing marks-something identifiable —a mark, a production stamp, and especially, in this case, a tag of the maker of a missing ski-cap, the finder of lost item is encouraged to seek out and find the owner—through an “announcement.”

The story or “proof” unfolded. This past December, a man in Minneapolis, out walking his dog found a hand-knitted ski-cap. Fortuitously, it had a tag inside of the craft person, but alas, not the owner’s name.

The dog walker decided to trace its owner. On Facebook, he learned that the artist listed on the tag was affiliated with an organization with which his friend, Richard was involved — Or Emet, a Humanist Jewish congregation in Minneapolis/St. Paul. The dog walker got in touch with his friend, Richard who then contacted Rabbi Miriam Jerris at the Society for Humanistic Judaism in Farmington Hills, Michigan. The creator of the cap was known to have a long-time connection with the organization. Richard immediately sent the information to Susan Ryan, the President of The City Congregation. Susan knew instantly who knit the ski-cap, informed Richard in Minneapolis, and offered to help. She contacted me by e-mail.

Could it have been bashert? (Yiddish meaning “meant to be”).  Susan contacted me by email asking if this ski-cap, knit by Renee, was given to one of her nieces living in Minnesota. Could it be that this was the ski-cap in question?

And here we can see the Talmud’s mandate coming into play of recognition and action to re-unite the knitted ski-cap back with its owner.

 The ski-cap had a “siman” an identifying mark: HAND-KNITTED BY RENEE FIELDS.

The finding of Renee’s cap was a surprise to me! How? What??—there must be a logical explanation behind this mystery.

Here’s how it all unraveled.  Renee’s two nieces and their families live in the Twin Cities—Stephanie in Minneapolis and Elisabeth in St Paul.

When I contacted Stephanie, via email—with a photo of the cap—she immediately identified it as belonging to her.  She did not realize that it was missing. Her mother-in- law apparently borrowed it in November, perhaps on a walk to the park with her grandkids. She didn’t know she had lost it or maybe forgot to tell Stephanie! The weather, even in Minnesota wasn’t getting really cold yet.

The re-uniting of the ski-cap took additional phone calls and emails. Yet, there was one more snag. The “finder” of the cap was on vacation with his wife in Europe and the cap was at their home. Richard contacted the son of the vacationers. The son was able to retrieve the cap and passed it to Richard. Now for the handover of the cap!

Stephanie, Cap, and Carol Logan

In early January, the return was completed by Richard’s wife, Carol who drove from her home to Stephanie’s home, to re-unite the cap with its owner, Stephanie.

The ski-cap has unique meaning, both for me and Stephanie. Her Aunt Renee, my wife (and an identical twin of her mother) died from ovarian cancer in 2018. Renee made many knitted items, quilts, and embroideries. She often gave them away as gifts to family and friends.  A few of her quilts still hang in my apartment in Queens.

How to even understand or make sense of this occurrence? Only by way of human action—that is by person to person—with no special “intercession” –a link of helping each other could this story even happen. We’ve all lost a scarf, a glove—and we despair, but losing and finding a hand-made work, hold more resonance and reward.

Lost items don’t always have a happy ending. So glad this one did—as opposed to another work of Renee’s that was lost many years ago—that was never found or returned. It was a large banner for City Congregation that was used frequently for Shabbats and ceremonies from High Holidays to B Mitzvahs. And—if this were a Perry Mason episode would it be entitled: The Case of the Dogged Dog-Walker? Alas, it was not a court case. Just ye’ush, despair.

Happily, Renee, created two more banners to replace the lost banner—which has been used at ceremonies  and also  been reproduced as illustrations in the congregation’s Liturgy books for Shabbat and High Holidays. Thereby her work endures for use and is enshrined to enjoy in the book  that can be seen anytime.

-PJM